My peeps, let me start by saying, I've been completely overwhelmed by the response to the launch of my website and blog...I have so much gratitude for each of you, and I'm definitely feeling the vast expanse of love and support. While most of the feedback was incredibly encouraging, there was one negative comment that rang loud. It's funny how heavy one bullshit remark can be, it could have carried more weight than all of the beauty that came out of the post if I let it. But I didn't. And so, of course, I deleted it...but in hindsight, maybe I should have let him fend for himself amongst your positivity...that would have at least been amusing to watch ;-)
Feed him to the wolves. Ha.
So what did he say? And why did it take me a whole 15 seconds to delete it?
For those unaware of the definition:
the view or theory that the self is all that can be known to exist.
In other words, it's all about...
...in a nutshell.
Hmm. My first response was "Fuck you, dude! You don't know me!" Quickly followed by my second response, "Okay more love, Donielle, not less...but seriously? Do you even know me at all?"
He didn't, he was one of the many people who has gotten the "Accept" button over the years merely by association of mutual friends. And so yes, the truth is, he definitely didn't know me...and now he probably never will....
No, but seriously. Let's get into this; because I want it to be perfectly clear WHY I do what I do in the case that's ever been in question.
Why is it that I look for and rip off every single mask I've ever worn? Why do I allow myself to stand in front of all of you, completely naked, baring my soul...because it's not like this is particularly comfortable. If I'm being honest, most the time it's horrible AF. And in case you're wondering, yes, I do second-guess the decision every single time I begin a live broadcast on Facebook or get ready to send out a whole-hearted and brutally honest post into the dense chasm of the social media universe. But I've been living this way for so long now, that I've learned to embody the discomfort. Even in the moments when I doubt myself, it's knowing that my experiences and my words might mean everything to ONE person, and that makes the risk of misunderstanding and/or temporary humiliation more than worth it every. single. time.
You see, I've practiced living this way so long that I know without a shadow of a doubt that it's NOT about me. It has never been about me. It's about anyone else BUT me...I do it for the people who are alone, invisible, and unseen who desperately need ANYONE to say, "Me too, friend. Me too." It's my calling to give a voice to the weary so they can set that heavy shit down, take a much-needed sigh of relief, and then a good, hard look at the darkness they've been hiding from the people around them. Most importantly, giving them permission to shine the light on it and ultimately free themselves.
As you can most likely imagine, that comment came as quite the shock. My intent was completely misunderstood...and even so, that's okay...I've said it before, I'm not for everybody. But my heart, that beautiful thing that beats in my chest, oh how I can assure you, it's the OPPOSITE of solipsistic.
Sorry, not sorry, random dude.
There will never be a day when I sit idly by and watch people suffer in silence. I can't and I won't. And so I will never stop sharing, not because of one negative comment or a thousand of them. Bring it the fuck on. Because...
You need to know you are NOT alone.
You will NEVER be alone.
And even if no one else on the planet has got you, I've got you.
You can always count on me. I will show up. I will choose Love over fear and I will ALWAYS be brave enough to be seen.